I've never been much of a religious person

So worshipping idols

And putting things "on a pedestal"

To be glorified

Has never been much my style.

There is one exception, however.

Every day

Every

Single

Day

I bow down

And get on my knees

At the altar

Of the almighty

Coffee.

Yes, Coffee, my friends.

It has the power to solve the world's problems.

I know this

Because Coffee has been the source of many miracles in my life!

My testament to the miraculaous power of Coffee:

Daily

I mean

Every

Single

Day,

Coffee causes me to

NOT kill

Any of the idiots I am forced to interact with.

I need no more proof than that.

My lord

My god

Coffee.

That's me worshipping at the altar of Coffee

God must love stupid people; He made SO many of them!