I've never been much of a religious person

So worshipping idols

And putting things "on a pedestal"

To be glorified

Has never been much my style.

There is one exception, however.

Every day

Every

Single

Day

I bow down

And get on my knees

At the altar

Of the almighty

Coffee.

Yes, Coffee, my friends.

It has the power to solve the world's problems.

I know this

Because Coffee has been the source of many miracles in my life!

My testament to the miraculaous power of Coffee:

Daily

I mean

Every

Single

Day,

Coffee causes me to

NOT kill

Any of the idiots I am forced to interact with.

I need no more proof than that.

My lord

My god

Coffee.

That's me worshipping at the altar of Coffee

God must love stupid people; He made SO many of them!

I had to re-learn an important lesson today.

One that I have learned periodically

Over and over

As the years have oozed by...

Just because the movie looks good on the Netflix page

Doesn't mean you should shoot it up to the top of the list.

Case in point:

Shira: The Vampire Samurai.

Ouch.

I gave it a full 3 and a half minutes before I had to turn SpongeBob on.

Never

Ever

Ever

Ever

Rent this movie.

If you do

I will find you

And laugh at you.





He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead.