Thought I'd try something different today.

Usually I check my email and surf the 'net while I drink my first cup of coffee. It's important to give the caffeine time to kick in before I try to write. I feel much more creative with caffeine.

Today I thought I'd post to my blog BEFORE coffee just to see what would happen and how fun it would be.

It's not fun. I don't like it. Turns out I don't like doing ANYTHING without caffeine.

Screw this. I'm outta here.

I was having a really rough week at work.

Projects were piling up

The phone wouldn't stop ringing

Idiots kept walking in my office expecting me to drop everything to address their whiny needs.

By Thursday, I had pulled out my calculator

(Carried in my breast pocket and shielded from environmental harm by my trusty pocket protector)

And had calculated the feasability (is it spelled right?)

Of quitting and living off my meager savings.

*sigh*

The key word in that last sentence is "meager".

So having realized that I was cursed to be a worker-bee for the rest of my natural life

(and then some)

I wiped the tears and went back to work

Finishing my Thursday in true disgruntled civil servant style:

Yelling and screaming at anyone and everyone.

But then a miracle happened!

On Friday morning

An epiphany (what the hell is an epiphany? Look it up and learn sumthin')

Suddenly I realized what I had been doing wrong

I realized why I had become so inefficient

Why the pile of unfinished paperwork on my desk had just kept getting bigger and bigger!

It was because I wasn't using the proper equipment to do my work!

I was ecstatic at this revelation

My life seemed to have meaning once again.

And as I adjusted my work process to incorporate the proper equipment

I felt uplifted

Nay, EXALTED!

By the end of the day, my pile was gone

My work was all done

And I was no longer disgruntled.

All thanks to

Using

The

Proper

Equipment

As shown below.



(ed note: the proper spelling is feasibility. If you got it wrong, get up off your fat butt, put down the x-box controller, and open a friggin' book. LEARN SUMTHIN'!)






It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.