'Sup bitches?

Oh I'm feelin' it today.

Oh yeah.

You hear? I did over eight miles today.

And the post-run endorphins are still busily percolatin' thru my thinkin' organ

ed note: the author's wife disagrees with him on which organ he actually thinks with.

Add to that a liberal amount of caffeine

And I become

Invincible

Bullet-proof

Or as the hippies used to say:

High on life.

As a comparison

It used to take three beers

A shot of Jack

And a couple tequila body shots off a stripper's ass

To get me to this state.

Hmmm...

I think I like the way I'm doing it now better,

'Cuz when I run long distances to get my high

I don't wake up in strange beds

With strange people

In strange cities

In strange states

In strange countries

With no money.

Oh, and you very rarely catch an STD while running.

One day at a time, my bruthuhs and sistuhs!






Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt on your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.

I'm in a unique mood right now.

Perfect for blogging.

Ran 6 miles with my running group this morning

And the post-run endorphins are peaking

In my brain

Friggin' awesome.

Combine that with my second cup of coffee

And we have a recipe for

Euphoria.


ed-WTF is euphoria, you ask? Look it up in an online dictionary. Learn somethin' for Chrissake.


Now this type of euphoria is good enough for most anyone

But not me

I need a little something

Special

An extra ingredient

To put me in the mood

To blog.

Especially this blog.

I need

Snarkiness.

And I got it in spades right now.

Now this combination

The Endorphins

The Caffeine

The Snarkiness

Won't keep me peakin' for long

But while it does

I'm at my rare best

For writing posts.

So sit back

Take a deep breath

Say a prayer to whatever gods or devils you worship

And prepare to be amazed.







Shit. It's gone.

Guess I'll see you in 6 months for my next post.






My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... or something like that.

Today I learned a new word:

Weaselly.

I looked it up.

It's real.

It means "like a weasel".

This is the term of endearment you earn

When you get busted voting for yourself

Anonymously

On someone else's blog poll.

*sheesh*




Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines

It's only been a couple months since my last post.

Can't figure why, then,

I suddenly want to blog again.

Hmm.

I'll meditate on it and get back to you

In a few months.

While you're waiting

Read my restaurant blog.

Over there

On the right.

I'm a tad more prolific in my writing (typing?) there.

Now leave.

I have to meditate.




If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Branson, Missouri.

SOUTHERN Missouri.

Yee

Haw.

Sittin' in a cabin

Lookin' at the woods

Very relaxing.

Later today, I will be forking over

WAY too much cash

For shows that weren't good enough

To make it in Vegas

(at least that's the running joke around here).

I hope to have at least a few dollars left for retirement when I leave this vacation spot.

Did I mention

Here in SOUTHERN Missouri

Everything edible

Every

Damn

Thing

Is deep-fried.

Thank God for my cholesterol medicine

Or I might be leaving Branson with a new bypass or two.

You know

Cardiac souvenirs.

And don't get me started on the nachos I bought yesterday.

Where I live

Restaurants

(and even theaters)

Take some pride in their nachos.

Did I mention that today

I am NOT where I live?

Yesterday in Branson, Missouri

SOUTHERN Missouri

I ordered some nachos at the snack bar connected to the playhouse we visited.

The kindly gentleman placed

On a tray

One tiny bag of round tortilla chips

Unopened

And one small container of semi-warm

Cheese sauce

Also unopened.

And that was an order of nachos

In Branson, Missouri.

When I asked for jalapenos

He stared like a possum caught in headlights.

Suddenly

I find myself looking forward

To visiting Pine Bluff

Arkansas

Next week.

At least I can get some good catfish there.